What's On The Line
by RenegadeTrash
Summary: It's the final push to the Cerberus base and Shepard feels anxiously sick about everything: her future, the loss of those that are gone and if she made the right choices. Luckily, Garrus is there for her. They are in this together. [Shakarian, oneshot, rated M for sexual content and language.]


**What's On The Line**

This was it. The final push.

Cerberus would go down once and for all. Kai Leng would meet Shepard's omni blade and the Prothean data was the ultimate goal. Now it would be several hours before the Normandy would reach the base. All around the ship, Ruari Shepard's crew was getting ready to hit Cerberus with everything they got. From gathering communications from other fleets to making sure their weapons was up to snuff. Everyone... except Ru of course. She felt so uneasy about this last approach to take back her home world. Her heart rate was extremely fast, breathing heavy and she felt as if she was gonna throw up. She was always so prone to anxiety like this and it killed her inside.

What if she hadn't made the right choices? What if she could have kept everyone alive? "What if" was all that surrounded her mind? Most importantly... when she had started caring about what she did right and wrong? When had she started wondering if she would make it out alive this time? Sure she cheated death before when Cerberus brought her back to life after a two year sleep. But this was different. It felt as if she couldn't come back this time. Frustrated, she threw her data pad on the floor with force and stomped into the bathroom in her cabin and splashed water on her face. Shepard had to get a grip on herself and looked in the mirror intently, cybernetic scars very much alive. She slammed her fist into the mirror, cracking it and causing her knuckles to bleed. Just fucking great... she hated bleeding just before a one of the biggest battles in galactic history.

 _You are a commander. This is your duty to get your people to succeed and make sure no one dies on your watch. Get them to safety and you can rest for good._

 _But why do I feel so sick to my stomach...?_

All of a sudden, the pains in her stomach made her throw up a bit in the sink. She was driving herself crazy thinking about this. This isn't the great Commander Shepard everyone talked about or expected to be. Hearing her door open, she heard the voice that had given her life meaning for a long time. She wasn't the only one with scars, Garrus had them too. He took a rocket to the face and still found a reason to keep living. Shepard felt his arms wrap around her waist and she responded by grabbing his hands, entangling them with hers.

"EDI told me you were feeling sick. You okay?"

"Not really, no. I just threw up a little."

"You have a fever? Anything major?"

"No I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine to me."

There was no fooling Garrus was there? He could read his girlfriend like an open book. What could Shepard say to him though? If she spilled everything, she would be a sobbing mess in minutes. Looking at her and him in the mirror, joined together, it was the best sight she had ever laid eyes on. She couldn't think of anyone else better to be with her right now. Wiping her eyes clean of any coming tears, she breathed in slowly and began to speak.

"Have I done enough, Garrus? Or am I just leading everyone to their deaths?"

"You know you have done everything you could. No one would be following you if we didn't believe you could do anything."

"What if everyone dies? What if I die?"

"Don't ever fucking say that, Shepard. Never say that word around me again."

"I'm sorry... all this pressure... it's just too much."

"We are all here for you. Never forget that."

"So... what are you doing here?" Saying this, Shepard looked up at Garrus with a sad looking smile. She wanted to believe she would be okay, but this is war, damn it. He could only hug her tighter around her waist to keep her close.

"I thought you might be up here. So I decided to come up. I just think it's a good time to remind the ones you care about that... well, you care about them."

"You read my mind."

"Guess I'm getting pretty good at this."

"You always were."

Shepard and Garrus didn't move for a few minutes, just staring at each other in the mirror. His rough, scarred, monotone skin made a beautiful contrast to her pale yet smooth skin that had a red tone to it. Her scars made a nice compliment to his own from the rocket he took. They were professional soldiers, but when they were alone, their mighty status no longer existed. Shepard was a woman deserving of love after having nothing on Earth and seeing so much death of her teammates over the years. Garrus was a man deserving of peace after not getting anywhere with C-Sec and his time as Archangel. Through pain and loss, they found love and respect in each other.

After staring in the mirror at each other for what seemed like an eternity, Shepard glanced over her shoulder slightly to see that Garrus was inches away from her lips, his talons tracing her jawline and running her loose auburn hair through them. Her breathing was more labored as he got closer and closer. She wanted him and she wanted him now, before she started crying and making herself sick over this war.

"Garrus..."

"Don't say anything, Shepard. I know... but we have right now."

"Then right now... let nothing matter but us."

"You read my mind."

Shepard's face turned bright red, washing away some of the pale shades as Garrus pressed his lips plates to her soft lips. Their kisses always felt so passionate and so pure but this one was felt with a sense of urgency. This could be the last time for both of them so they may as well make this count. This brought memories to Shepard's mind when she and Garrus reunited after Menae. After that fight and after they talked in the main battery, he came up to her cabin so they could catch up in private. She had never felt so sore after that night. Only the day when they professed their love for each other was a match. The longer they held that single kiss, the tighter they hugged each other.

Garrus finally changed the positions and picked her up by the waist, holding her up with his arms and her legs wrapped around his waist. They never broke their kiss on their way to the bed as he laid Shepard down beneath him, stripping her of her jacket and pants violently. Breaking their lips apart briefly, she stripped herself of her top and bra quickly and Garrus took it upon himself to rid himself of his armor. Finally, they could touch each other without armor or any type of fabric. Shepard could finally feel his talons and scales rub across her skin and Garrus could finally feel the touch of her soft, alien skin on his own.

The blue glow of the fish tank in the cabin hit Shepard's body with such illumination and Garrus loved how she looked in the light, like an angel wrapped in blue, even with her red scars. To Shepard, the blue glow gave him a real look of an angel as well. Archangel was his code name after all. His talons ran down her body, giving light scratches on her skin, which is what Shepard loved most. All the while, they kept exchanging kiss after kiss, so gently and yet with such force. She needed him and he needed her, right now.

Garrus suddenly lifted her up by the back, wrapping her legs around his waist, allowing her to straddle him. His hot breath traveled down her neck, down to her breasts, causing Shepard to moan and gasp for breath. Nothing existed right now, just her and him wrapped up in each other. But there was still too much urgency between them, like they needed each other more than anything. Even just being right now, they felt as if they were apart for their entire lifetime. Shepard wanted Garrus to take her violently, with force. But he won't stand for that. He wouldn't allow himself to hurt her like that.

One thing was for sure: they were completely and utterly in love with each other. He was her world, her everything and she was his world, his everything.

"Garrus... stay with me tonight."

"Don't worry, I will not leave you here alone."

Their lips touched together again, embracing each other tight, with Garrus' talons, scratching her along her waist. The feeling made Shepard shake violently with pleasure, knowing she desperately needed that. It wasn't long before they both noticed they were hard and ready. Not yet though... they needed to savor each other more before their full appetite was satiated. Garrus suddenly licked along her collar bone. He loved the taste of her skin, like a succulent fruit waiting to be bitten into, which is exactly what he did. Shepard shuddered at his sudden bite, but it wasn't too rough. She entrusted him with her safety and he never let up on it since they first got together. Through Virmire, the Collector Base, the Citadel, finding Leviathan, Rannoch and Thessia... no matter where they were, Garrus always looked out for her. First as comrades, then as friends and now as lovers, even going so far as to call Shepard his soulmate, even though he never told her.

But did she feel the same? There was only one way to find out.

Taking her arms, Garrus wrapped them around his neck, which Shepard responded by digging her nails into his scales as hard as she could. After savoring each others taste, exchanging bites and scratches for what seemed like hours, they broke their lips apart again and looked down. They were both definitely ready now so, using all of his force, Garrus pushed into Shepard as far as he could , which to her felt like a boiling hot knife cutting into her insides. He may as well be carving his name into the deep recesses of her body. She responded by holding on to him the tightest she could, probably even more than the previous times they had made love. Pressing their lips together to catch their breath and share their love, he started to move.

Each movement caused Shepard to gasp for breath in between each kiss. God, he always knew how to make her feel good. Sweat started pouring down her head and began erupting from her arms and legs and back. This was a hunger unlike anything both Garrus and Shepard had never experienced before. They were hungry for each others touch, their scent, their touch, their ultimate bond of true love. By having each others six on the battlefield through smoke and gunfire, they discovered something not thought possible, especially since the First Contact War took place between their species.

Garrus' moments got faster and harder, leaving Shepard, gasping for air a lot of the time. She wanted to hang her head back and just scream for more. But using his arm, he held her upright in fear of her being hurt. As they shared another kiss, he saw that Shepard actually formed tears in the corner of her eyes, which caused him to stop moving, fearing he may have done something.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm okay..."

"It's okay, I'm still here."

"And I'm here too."

"There's no other place I'd rather be right now than with you."

In a tender moment, as he started moving inside her again gently, Shepard took one of Garrus' hands in hers and placed it on her cheek, leaning in to it as hard as she could. She had the most pained look on her face but not crying, her emerald green eyes told everything. She didn't want to go into battle with Cerberus, she didn't want to go to Earth, she didn't want to face the Reapers. It wasn't just the Reapers they were fighting against and their peoples freedom they were fighting for. Garrus was fighting for Shepard and for a right to have a future with her. Shepard was fighting for Garrus and for a chance to have a future with him. Finally, Shepard relaxed her muscles and nodded against Garrus' forehead, letting him know he could continue.

So he did.

Garrus held her closer and Shepard kissed him again, him responding with the same amount of force. They lost themselves in each other for sure, putting all of their emotions and frustration into one singular unit. And when the time came, they would for sure use this on the battlefield to take down what threatened their homes, themselves and their future. Both Garrus and Shepard were close to climax now and he pulled out of her just in time to release all of his load and she collapsed on the bed sheets, exhausted. How long did they go for? She lost track of time as soon as he invited himself up to her cabin. Once they could catch their breath, Garrus picked her up by the back and wrapped her arms around his neck again, holding her head against his chest.

Shepard could hear his heart beat faster than ever before. Was he feeling nervous about the upcoming assault too? Or was it just the fact that they had just made love to each other? Or was it something else? Or both? She had to ask Garrus as she held him tight back, feeling his talons go through her soft hair.

"...Garrus? I..."

"...Be my partner."

"...What?" She looked up at him with surprised eyes. What did he just say?

"I can't do it... I can't go into battle like this. Call me a bad turian however you like but I can't go into the field knowing what's on the line and what's at stake. I need to know that we will have the future we always wanted."

"I don't want to fight either Garrus... I'm sick of fighting actually... I'm gonna make myself sick every time I think of this war. I'm frightened, I'm tired, I'm sick of it all... I just want to be at peace."

"I know... that's why I'm asking you... be my partner. We endured everything together and we always will. There's no one I'd rather be bonded with or stuck with for the rest of my life... despite how stubborn you are."

"You're even more damn stubborn than me."

That was the first time they exchanged smiles since he came up to her cabin god knows how long ago. They just sat there, holding each others hands as tightly as possible and exchanging kiss. I guess that was a yes to his proposal. She wanted a future with him and he with her. But it wasn't long before Shepard looked sad and Garrus could only turn her head to look at him.

"What's bothering you?"

"Garrus, there's so much at stake... can we ever be ready for something like this? Everything we have ever known... it's hanging by a thread. I'm not ready for this..."

"Yes but the truth is, when hasn't it? Every fight we have ever seen could have been our last. Every bullet that we dodged could have been the one."

"We have seen a lot of bullets."

"They're just a little bigger now. Don't worry... we are in this together."

"...yeah... I don't know what I would do without you."

All she could offer was a palm to his scarred mandible as he took his hand and placed it on hers. They sat together on the bed for a while just staring at each other and exchanging soft kisses until Joker said they were minutes away from the Cerberus base. Even after that, they didn't want to leave each others touch. Who knows when they could be together like this again? What they just experienced was pure bliss. They were each others courage to get through anything now that they have washed away each others fears.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Garrus. Now... let's go fight for everything that's on the line... including our future."

"Yes... we will fight for our future."


End file.
